La Beaute d’Entropie.

There’s a tee shirt that’s sitting on my bed that bears those words; a shirt that GracefullyPunk sent me for my last birthday.  I wear it often, it’s one of my favourites.  The beauty of the design gets me, but also the words.  Words from the language I’ve fallen in love with, words that I understand, and words that make me think.  La beaute d’entropie.

The beauty of entropy.

The beauty of disorder and chaos.

This is the beauty that I find in my life everyday.  I’m constantly reminded how much of a mess I am and how broken I am, and I find that beautiful.  Through the giant mess that I find myself in everyday I cannot help but fall in love with my mess because its the only mess I want to be living in.  I fall apart sometimes while I try to piece my brokenness together, but though that, I end up bumping into some sort of revelation that makes everything so worth it.  Does that make any sense?

The truth is, sometimes I forget that its the random chaos and disorder in life that makes everything so worth it.  I try to remind myself of it, but sometimes someone or somthing lands in my life that points all of that out without me actually knowing it.  When that happens, something inside of me moves.  When something goes unexpectedly perfectly, beautifully, and wonderfully, something happens in me; a spark is ignited, the butterflies flutter, and the world feels lighter.  Maybe these feelings or thoughts are elevated so much more because only I know about them; they’re mine and mine only.  It’s a secret.  It’s secret I want to shout from the rooftops but can’t find the sounds to do it, so I just sit and I enjoy the feelings.

I enjoy the beautiful chaos.

Find it.  Find your chaos and fall in love with it.  Wait for it.  Wait patiently for that chaos to interupt your habitual life.  Disorder knows you…you just need to find the beauty in all of it.

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